Monday, December 28, 2009

Avoiding the Accidental "Snout" Taco at Grand Central Market

As you know, I loooooove me some Downtown Los Angeles. Just before Christmas I took some visiting family for a Jewelry District shopping trip and we stopped in at the historic Grand Central Market at Third/Broadway for a quick morning snack. I stopped at a relatively large/prominent counter perched at the entrance to the place, figuring a little $2 soft taco would be perfect for the three of us girls.

Little did I know I'd have to scan the entire menu, limited as it was, to find a meat filling for my taco that did not evoke bad memories of accidental orders in foreign languages! Check the center column on the menu board in the photo. Mercifully it provided English translations, but here were the meat offerings for us:
Ribs
Skin
Tongue
"lomo" (which it turns out is "tenderloin" and not scary)
Ham (but given the other options listed, I don't think this is what I would consider "ham" but some other funky version of it)
Pork (also suspect- never heard of "espaldillo")
Heart
Liver
Kidney
"buche" (which I find online is a mixture of pig and cow "scraps")
Snout
Ears
Feet
Tripe (stomach)
and . . .
Carne Asada
Ding ding ding! That's the ticket. Reading through that list of horrors and I was treated with the best for last- carne asada it was!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Awesome Holiday Cards, Volume I

Our household gets literally hundreds of holiday cards each year, and my favorite tradition is to take a good look at them. They represent such a wide variety of people from my family's long history, it's cool to see them all. I'm trying not to make too much fun of anyone here (and believe me, I could post and comment on some really awful ones and you would die laughing). They do tend to fall into categories, though. Take a gander . . .

North Dakota Folksy

My dad is from West Fargo, North Dakota, so we get a lot of cards from the Mother Land. His friends from back-in-the-day are notable for the things they write in the cards. They are extraordinarily honest: if their crop failed this year, you are going to hear about it. Not like the cards from LA people, with their sun-tanned photos from cruises with beautiful grandkids. Nope, the ND folks are just that . . . folksy. I liked this one, which has hand-written: "We're having our first snowfall of the season. Dick is heading out to get some gas for the snowblower."

This is not some clever statement or inside joke. It's just exactly what it says, honest and straightforward. Well, thanks for letting us know! Maybe he'll pick up some milk, too?

Old People Who Know How to Live
Then there is the segment of my parents' friends who seem to be spending their golden years traveling like crazy. These couples always send a cool photo from a far-off land. This one is amazing, though!

The writing on the back of the card informs us that this is a 1 1/2 year old Cheetah who visited them on a trip to Tanzania. That is an amazing photo! And the man on the left just looks so relaxed about the whole encounter. Wow. I hope I'm that cool when I'm old.

California Awesome

This one is from my friend from growing up, who lives in LA. Can you tell she had twins?? I didn't think so. She's my idol. The card is so exuberant with the crazy feathers. Over-the-top in a really playful way. So cute. I am imagining what the folks at my old law firm in upstate New York would think if they received a card like this. It is sooooo much in keeping with people's stereotypes about Los Angeles. I love it!!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

G is for Grapple?

I eat some weird food. Bacon donuts. Shaved beef tendon salad. Andouillette. But none of that is somehow as weird as what John just brought home for me to taste. The Grapple. Pronounced "GRAPE-l" and capitalized because it is a registered brand name for a new grapey-apple product.

Judging from the website's 1950s-looking graphics and the references to combating childhood obesity, it seems that the Grapple is being marketed as a way to get your fat kids to eat more fruit. This is consistent with what I experienced in tasting my first Grapple: looks like an apple, smells like a Jolly Rancher!! The Grapple looks, feels, and tastes like a normal apple. But the aroma coming off it was precisely the same as grape flavored candy. Pretty sneaky trick, but it won't fool your kid more than once because, guess what? The Grapple just tastes like a boring old Fuji apple. In fact, after all that grape-smelling-good-ness, the apple is pretty much of a letdown.

Wikipedia tells me that the Grapple is not the result of some cool hybrid, but instead a patent-pending liquid infusion process in which grape juice concentrate is pushed into the flesh. Well, forcing grape into an apple does not create the "sweet distinctive flavor of Concord grapes combined with the crispness of a fresh, juicy Washington Extra Fancy apple." Ain't no grape anywhere in that apple, except for the Jolly Rancher scent!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Space Babies Take Los Angeles

I don't have a blog to go along with this photo, really. I just think it is a fab photo. Taken from the edge of Chavez Ravine (location of Dodger Stadium for my out-of-town readers) in the Echo Park area of LA, looking down a super steep street at the Downtown LA skyline, as we were parking in front of my friend's apartment, at the end of a long day exploring downtown.

'Tis the Season . . . for panhandling in the name of charity


It is probably the many years I have spent being constantly panhandled in Downtown LA, but I get pretty annoyed by it. And don't call me heartless, either, because I know more about the politics, laws and motives behind panhandling than just about anyone, after the years I spent working on policies affecting the homeless.
So I get a little taken aback when I have essentially the same feeling around this time of year at seemingly every store I go into. But this sign at Trader Joe's in Torrance takes the cake. Give it a good read. And remember that the lady is so dumb that she is still standing right next to it.

Wearing the same ultra-bright-white-drum-major-get-up, but looking decidedly like a gang member, was THIS guy, at the 110 freeway onramp in Wilmington. The picture doesn't capture how sketchy looking he was. And working the freeway onramp. Nothing says "I have legitimate 501(c)3 status and I'm going to make every penny you donate go to help the less fortunate" than giving menacing looks to drivers stuck in the light at the freeway entrance.

And P.S.: Ralphs, when I'm checking out, please don't ask me if I want to donate a dollar to Ronald McDonald House or whatever. I DON'T!
Yes, Bah Humbug to YOU, too!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Pilgrim Place Festival

Just in case anyone might think that Binghamton was the only place that had really hokey festivals, or that my addiction to them was time/place-specific, behold the most awesomest (yes, I meant to write that) festival of all- the annual Pilgrim Place Festival in Claremont, CA.

Pilgrim Place is a beautiful community: a gracefully laid-out neighborhood of low-rise pre-WWII looking California bungalows- that I literally stumbled across while jogging in California. It was so lovely that I had to inquire further, and I found that it is a retirement community for those who have served in religious and/or charitable careers. It seems to attract a super-educated crowd of really interesting people who have lived all over the world, e.g., PhDs who worked as missionaries. These people are drawn to Claremont probably for the proximity to the Claremont Colleges and the Claremont School of Theology, where they sometimes guest lecture.

I admit to posting the corniest of photos, but the Festival really does beat all. Basically, these "Pilgrims" (and yes, they all dress up like Pilgrims and they even call each other "Pilgrim"!!) work all year at their handicrafts (woodworking, pottery, stained glass, painting) and sell the stuff at rock bottom prices to raise money for those among them who need subsidy. Win/Win and damn good Christmas shopping!

It is just a bonus that there is a corny side to the event, too. This guy was the best. John's photo is much better than the one I've posted, so here is his.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

American Apparel: Uniquely LA

http://mgjr.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/american_apparel.jpg

For those of you over 35, you might not be aware of the super-popular brand of clothing, American Apparel. In addition to $30 T-shirts, the core of the American Apparel empire, AA now sells all manner of accessories that have become the Hipster Uniform. In fact, my buddy Wikipedia tells me it is the largest clothing manufacturer in the United States. Who knew?

American Apparel gets a lot of press because 1) its marketing materials look like softcore child pornography, 2) its founder is apparently sex-crazed (if you call masturbating during interviews during interviews "crazy"), 3) it takes strong, politically-charged positions, most notably in support of immigration reform, and 4) it has been one of the country's fastest-growing companies in recent years (with funky management practices, like free massages). But mostly, AA is famous because of #1. Let's discuss.

Soft Core Porn
Call me prude and/or old, but AA's ads are really a bit shocking. They usually consist of very skinny, very young-looking people in various stages of undress, spread-eagle in some pastel-colored underwear. AA ads seem to be everywhere; I think I remember reading that they were the biggest advertiser on Facebook at one point [I believe that because I thought they were permanently embedded in the right hand column of my screen, as I frittered away the summer of 2008 on FB.]

The first AA store I ventured into was in LA's Little Tokyo. Upon entering the dressing room, I was greeted by a wall full of creepy, bad-quality polaroids of people who did not look like models, but who did look very sex-starved, wearing bits of AA clothing here and there. I remembered reading somewhere that AA ad photos consisted of photos of AA employees, mostly taken by (or including) Dov Charney, the above-referenced founder of the company. Hello, lawsuit, anyone??

Sparkly Gold Leggings
AA's empire may be built on tshirts, but the clothes they now also feature are nothing short of ridiculous: hotpants, lace body stockings, odd tube tops, weird quasi-leg-warmer socks, gold leggings . . . for toddlers??

The Sun Never Sets on the American Apparel Empire
I was aware of AA because its headquarters occupy one of the largest (the largest?) industrial building complexes in Los Angeles- three massive former Southern Pacific Railway warehouses downtown. But it was not until I left LA that I realized how far the American Apparel empire reached . . . in what has been described as the fastest retail roll-out in history, there are now over 200 AA stores in nearly 20 countries. Apparently what happens in Downtown LA does not stay in Downtown LA, because we were greeted by AA stores in our recent travels to Berlin, Paris, all over NYC. But the craziest one I saw was in boring old Claremont, CA. Claremont? The sleepy little college town of my misspent youth? AA is becoming as ubiquitous as Starbucks or (gasp) Subway?

Why we still love AA
At the end of the day, I am still an AA fan. Theirs are the best overpriced tshirts of all the overpriced tshirts on the market, and come in great colors. Sooooo soft. For now, though, I will skip the lace bodystockings. Or wait until they go on sale at the factory outlet.